I got up this morning, but haven't yet dressed.
  My dishes aren't done, and my house is a mess.
  Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
  Just on line for a second, and popped in to "chat".
  I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
  I think I remember...yeah, I used to have SEX!
  I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
  Tho' it causes the neighborhood children to stare.
  I wanted to travel around on the Net,
  Been too busy chatting to get on there yet.
  I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
  But gettin' on with them is just what I ain't!
  So much to learn and I wanted to but
  I'm too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
  Talkin' and listenin' it such a sin?
  Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!
  Then up pops a name on my neat Buddy List,
  Think I'll go out and give HIS tail a twist!>
  And in comes an IM from some weirdo guy
  I cuss 'im, insult 'im, and tell him "bye bye".
  Is there a 12 step, support group, or such?
  For those of us folks who chat on too much?
  If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
  Except that it prob'ly would be here online!
  Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some
  Its got me, its got me, its power is AWESOME.
  It's my new computer, I've had it one week,
  Now I look in the mirror and I see a "geek".
  Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
  Please help me, please help me, please get me off-line!
  Or better, please Email a burger and fries,
  'Cause I'm staying ONLINE, at least 'til I die!!!